The Risk of Resale - Strange Ducks-8

A story about the consequences of smart shopping.

Here’s a story that was recently relayed to me. It’s so goofy and typical of this wacky town I live in, that I had to share it with you.

My next-door neighbor has a daughter, who I’ll call “Penny” for this story.

Penny is a short, unremarkable-looking woman in her 50s. However, what does make her exceptional is her extraordinary love for a good bargain.

Penny has earned a delightful reputation in her family for her savvy use of coupons and her extraordinary knack for frugality. If a grocery store offers a 2 for the price of 1 deal on cans of Okra, and the store is within 40 miles of her vicinity, no matter how much she may dislike okra, Penny will swoop down upon the market like a hawk upon a field mouse.

She’ll blast into the market for that 2 for 1, plus she’ll also produce from her purse a fistful of coupons that’ll shave an extra 50 cents off the price!

Penny's bargain hunting has instilled a sense of dread among local grocers. Whenever they run an advertisement in the paper, they know she’ll show up on sale day and skunk them out of any profit margins they were expecting.

Penny takes pride in her frugal super-shopping skills. Additionally, if anyone in the family ever craves okra, she has a whole cupboard of cans at the ready.

My neighbor tells me that due to his daughter’s buying habits, the inside of her home could easily be mistaken for a Costco warehouse.

However, the clutter isn’t just from grocery stores. Penny also enjoys doing a bit of “resale” to help pull in “her bingo money.”

Penny will regularly make the rounds at local thrift shops, weekend yard sales, and estate sales to peruse the junk. Like a Ponce de León of rummage, she wades through the aisles and tables scanning for any “gold” that she can turn into a few dollars of profit on eBay or Facebook marketplace.

My neighbor shared with me Penny's experience from one of her recent outings, which my neighbor affectionately calls “crap shopping.”

Last week, Penny was at a local thrift store and she spied a handbag that had possibilities for resale.

Penny found a medium-sized shoulder purse made of faux leather. The purse was decorated with a print of lipstick kisses and a large image of the 1930s animation icon, Betty Boop. Priced at a modest $5, Penny considered it an absolute steal, as she believed it could sell for at least $10! She bought the purse and posted it on her Facebook Marketplace account that same day.

She was pleasantly surprised when the very next day, a woman messaged her about the purse.

The woman reached out to her, expressing her enthusiasm for the purse and shared that she was local, which made the prospect of a sale even more possible.

Penny was overjoyed. She responded by asking if the price of $10 was OK and where’d she like to have the bag shipped.

The potential buyer wrote back to ask if Penny would be willing to bring the purse to her and added that she’d be willing to pay $20 for the handbag!

Penny was filled with delight at the thought of making a cool $15 from this thrift store find.

She eagerly agreed to meet the buyer.

The two of them set up a meeting time. The buyer wrote that she lived next to the Safeway supermarket on Mill Plain Boulevard and could meet there. After getting off the phone, Penny zoomed off to the Safeway to meet the woman.

On her way out the door, she also grabbed a handful of Safeway coupons that she had in a basket near the front door.

Penny considered that since she'll be at Safeway Grocery, she could also stop in for a few deals.

Penny waited in front of the Safeway for a half hour but the buyer didn’t show up. She was going to call the sale a loss and reached into her pocket for the coupons. But mid-pocket search, she thought to try and send the buyer a message to ask where she was.

The buyer quickly responded that Penny was to go to her home, not the Safeway!

Unfortunately, Penny realized her mistake. She misread what the woman wrote regarding the meeting. However, she was hesitant to go to a stranger’s home instead of meeting in a public space. Penny was worried it could be some kind of masher or worse at the house.

The buyer then sent a note offering Penny an extra $5 if she brought the purse to the buyer’s house. After all, it was only right next door to the Safeway!

Penny, not one to rebuff an extra $5, accepted the risk and agreed to walk over to the house. She told the buyer she’d be there in a minute.

Penny walked from Safeway and to the address she was given. When she arrived at the house, she noted that the single-story ranch house could use a bit of TLC. Peeling paint and untended plants met her eye. Despite the unappealing facade and any hidden dangers, Penny let her profits cloud her judgement and motivate her actions.

She walked up the moss-covered sidewalk that divided the run-down front yard and which led to the front door. Once there, she rang the doorbell.

The door opened.

Penny was greeted by a skinny young woman with jet-black hair. The woman was dressed in a heavy metal rock t-shirt and baggy sweatpants. Her hair and makeup looked as if sleep and good nutrition were lesser personal concerns.

The woman smiled and greeted Penny. She then expressed how overjoyed she was to see that handbag for sale.

Penny produced the purse from the paper bag she was carrying it in.

The young woman removed a twenty and a five from her sweatpants pocket and handed it to Penny.

The woman thanked Penny for coming to her house to drop off the purse. She then explained that she had just gotten out of prison, and due to an ankle monitor she couldn’t go anywhere.

Penny held back her apprehensions over that comment. She handed over the purse while also noticing the lump under the sweatpants cuff on the woman’s left ankle.

When the woman saw the bag, her smile grew even wider. She exclaimed that this handbag was perfect and exactly like her favorite purse she’d lost.

Penny asked how the other bag was lost.

The woman said, “Oh, that purse is being held as evidence. But this will do! Thanks!”

That comment was said so quickly it caught Penny off guard, but before she could inquire further, the young woman shut the door in her face.

Penny turned and walked briskly away from the home as she relished the $20 profit she’d made.

After a few more steps, Penny considered how much more she could have earned, had she known she was possibly selling an alibi.

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Wild, huh? I need to keep an eye on the local news to see if any trials are coming up where the verdict depends on a “That’s not my bag!” defense.

As for me, I’m back on the comics trail (not trial) later in the week.

BTW speaking of comics, If you want to read some of the best comics and humor being published today, the latest Issue of The American Bystander (#29) is now available for ordering. Yours truly has few comics in the issue but I’m just a shucker compared to the fact that the issue includes that last published work of the great Jules Feiffer. Buy the issue for that collectibility!

Cheers,

Ed